Waiting

We are in the waiting process...again!  I have so much hope right now.  Last night I said to Nathan over and over again "I want a baby!"  Sadie perked up everytime I said it which made us laugh!  Nathan thinks she did this because I call her and Kate my babies! 

I know for a fact that I ovulated this month because I used an ovulation predictor kit, and I felt it!  This is a blessing!   I'm a little nervous because I came down with a sore throat yesterday afternoon and it was much worse when I woke up this morning.  I went to the doctor who thinks it is strep and she prescribed me an antibiotic.  Already feeling better!  This is a blessing!  I'm nervous though that my illness could prevent me from getting pregnant.  I know this sounds rediculous, but I have endured so many emotions this past month while on clomid.  I do not want to have to repeat this process again, but I will if necessary. 

I feel like I do everything correctly and nothing happens.  I am trying to lean on God more.  I have to trust that he wants me to have my hearts desire.  My heart has a strong desire to become a mother.  My heart delights to think of all of the joy a child brings.  My heart aches to think that I don't have that. 

I have found three women in the bible who were infertile: Hannah, Elizabeth, and Sarah.  God gave all three of them a child!  He gave them their heart's desire.  As an infertile woman I often ask myself "What do I need to do to have a child?" or "What have I done that I don't deserve a child?"  I know the answer to both of these questions is "nothing."  A child comes from God.  The only thing I can do is pray.  I need to do this more often.  I also ask that you pray for us.  Most of all for a child, but also for hope, love, peace in our hearts, and strength.  Thank you.

While searching for some encouraging words tonight on the internet I found a video about a couple's process of infertility.  I cried when I watched it because it is exactly what Nathan and I are going through.  Please watch to learn what an infertile couple feels.

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html